Admitting
by Anna Cartlin
Summary: Shiori is out of town for a couple weeks and Kurama has the house to himself. Over the past few months he has noticed that he has had feelings for a certain fire demon. KuramaxHiei Chap 3 is now up!
1. Prologue

I sit in my room waiting for my mother to leave for her meeting. She will be gone for a few weeks, and I am looking forward to having the house to myself. I need time to think, so much had happened in the past few months. I realized feelings that I had been burying for a while.

"Shuichi!" Shiori, yells up the stairs. "Yes mother?" I reply even though I know what she is going to say.

"I'm leaving now. Are you sure you won't mind being alone while I'm gone? I mean I am going to be gone for," I cut her off as I reach the bottom of the stairs and grab her bags.

"I'll be fine mother. It's only for a couple weeks. The house is stocked with food, and all the bills are paid. There is no need for you to worry mother."

Her eyes start to tear up and I know that it won't be long until she starts crying.

"I know Shuichi, its just that I have never left you alone before. Not this long anyway. Shuichi," her face now shows that she really doesn't want to leave me. "You know what, I'm canceling. Where's the phone?"

Just as she reaches the phone I grab her hand and stop her. "Mother, you are not canceling. You have been waiting for this all year. You are going. Don't worry, I'll be fine." As I speak I manage to guide her toward the front door.

I can see that she was becoming a little more at ease about leaving me alone. However there is still the slight look of reluctance.

I grab her bags and carry them out to the car for her. "Mother, you are going and you will not worry about me, okay?"

Shiori looks up at me and grimaces a little but finally gives in, "You're right Shuichi, I need to go and not worry." There is still a little reluctance in her voice but at least she is going.

"Goodbye Shuichi!" She yells out of the car window as she drives away. I wave goodbye and after she is out of sight I walk back into the house. I stand in the front room for a moment, then head back up to my room.

When I reach my room I walk to the foot of my bed and fall forward on it. The thought that I will be home alone for two and a half weeks finally sets in and I pull my shirt off.

After a few more moments I fall asleep. It was just so nice to have the house to myself.


	2. Just a Dream

I'm standing in a field, it is dark and there is not a single sound. Everything just seems to be still and silent for some strange reason that is unknown to me. I search the area for something that seems familiar, anything at all.

There is but a single tree that stands out among that grass and flowers, and it seems to be the only tree in sight. It is as tall as an oak tree, but it looks like a cherry tree. I decide to investigate, and as I walk closer I notice that there is a strange sent emitting from the leaves.

And for the first time I hear a single sound, it is faint, but it is indeed there. It is the sound of rustling leaves above me.

I hesitate before I look up, waiting, and listening for another sound. But it seems that whatever made the sound knew that I had heard it. Finally I decide to look up and see a black figure sitting on a branch halfway up.

As I stare up I feel my mouth part slightly, I was not expecting to see a person in the tree. I was expecting an animal or something other than a person.

As my eyes adjust I start to recognize the figure that sat lazily, in the tree. My eyes may recognize the figure, but my brain needs time to adjust. It's just not possible, it couldn't be who I think it is.

My mouth fought to speak, but the words would not come. This is not like me, I am normally calm and collected. I am never nervous or perplexed.

I blame this all on him, if it had been any other person, I would be just fine. But no it had to be him! Damn him!

I blink my eyes trying to focus, and try to speak again. "Hi… Hiei? Is that you?" The words hang over the field with such density that it's starting to make me sick. I want for Hiei to reply but, he just sits there. Why is he doing this to me?

"Hiei!" My exclamation echoes throughout the field and it begins to ring in my ears. He still will not budge. I can see him breathing so I know that it's not a dummy.

I'm getting really frustrated, why the hell won't he answer me? "God damn it Hiei why won't you fucking answer me?"

Over the ringing in my ears, I hear a slight chuckle. I know its him, I look up and glare at him. I know that he can tell that I'm getting pissed because of his Jagan eye.

His laughter is getting louder now and I'm really getting pissed. So he can laugh but he can't fucking answer? Fine if that's the way he wants to play, that's how we'll play.

I disappear from his view, but I can still see him. I can hear his laughter grow quieting, now that he notices I'm not there. He shifts and looks around searching for me. Now it's his turn to get pissed.

I stay in the shadow of the tree just enough to where I am fully hidden, but I can see him perfectly. After a few moments searching from the tree, he jumps down right in front of where I am sitting. I can't help but smile as I see his face, I'm not sure why exactly. I mean I do have some sort of feelings for him, but I'm not sure what they are.

It seems that my smiling, gave away my position to Hiei as he turns around swiftly and stares directly at me. I try to calm myself hoping that he didn't really see me, but it seems that my wishing goes unfulfilled.

Hiei walks closer to me and I can feel my heartbeat speeding up. What is it that I am feeling? It couldn't be love could it? No. This is Hiei that we're talking about here. I would see myself with Botan before Hiei.

But for some reason, all that is going through my mind is Hiei. Why? Do I love him? I guess it is possible, I have been feeling something lately. I just never thought it was love.

When I come to my senses Hiei has disappeared. Figures, I let my mind wander to much. But I hear a slight movement behind me and before I have time to react I'm being grabbed.

"WHAT THE HELL?" I yell out. I don't like being attacked from behind. I manage to wrestle him from behind and slam him on the ground in front of me.

In order to keep him from running I pin him down by sitting my knees on his arms. The one thing I didn't expect was him to lean up and kiss me.

I can't think straight now. My head is foggy and I'm feeling a bit light-headed too.

"What… the…. Hell?" I'm not sure if the words came out or not, but judging by Hiei's reaction, I think they did. He's just laughing. Why is he laughing?

Although, as I look closer, I see that he is blushing slightly. That is something I thought I would never see.

I don't know why, but I lean down and kiss him back. And it's not a simple peck, this is long and meaningful. As I slowly pull away from the kiss I realize, I do love Hiei.

When I fully come to the realization, I pick my knees up and position myself for a better angle to kiss him. Our hands start to roam over each other trying to pull any clothing we come into contact with off.

The kiss is becoming more passionate and a little sloppy, but I don't care. This is just such a wonderful feeling, just me being with Hiei and nothing else in the world existing.

Just as it seems that things are going to get better, I hear a phone ringing. _How is that possible? _I think to myself.

_There isn't anything around in site other than the tree that Hiei was sitting in. _The ringing continues and its starting to sound like my house phone.

I look up to see if anything had changed, but as I do everything starts to fade. The tree, the grass, then last Hiei.

Next thing I know I'm lying on my bed face-down and the answering machine picks up; _HI we couldn't get to the phone, but if you leave a message we'll try to get back to you as soon as possible. _

I hear the beep and then I hear Yusuke's voice chimes in, _Hey Kurama! Pick up the phone! I heard your mom was going out of town and I figured we could have a party! Call me! _

Damn! It was just a dream.


	3. Telling Keiko

**AN:**

I know that this has taken forever. And I am really sorry! But I was without a computer for a month or so, and then when i got a working computer, I had no internet. And this has been the first chance I've had to get up here! Again I am **REALLY **sorry that it took so long! I really hope you like this one.

**Chapter 3: Telling Keiko**

I avoided Yusuke's message last night. After I had realized that what had happened was only a dream, I was kind of pissed off. It's strange how much I really wanted that to really happen. Hell I still do!

It's not fair! Why the hell did I have to have that dream. I'm afraid that if I tell anyone that I'll be humiliated. Especially if Hiei doesn't feel the same. I need to talk to some, but I don't know who to go to.

I know that Yusuke and Kuwabara will look at me and think I'm joking then freak out when they realize that I'm gay. And Botan is out of the question; she can't keep a secret to save her life.

I'm and idiot! Keiko! She's nice and can keep secrets. Why didn't I think about her last night when I was having a heart-attack?

As I drive over to Keiko's I think about all the possible outcomes of this. Of telling. I know that I can trust Keiko, well at least I think I can.

_What am I thinking, _I thought to myself. _I'm so stupid, there is no way I can tell _anyone_ about this!_

I made a huge u-turn right in the middle of traffic. It caused quite a huge accident, but I didn't care. I just needed to get some air away from everything.

After a few moments of thought I remembered the beach. _The beach should be a nice place to think . _

The ride to the beach ended up taking about half an hour. It was a relaxing drive that had already given me time to think, but I was afraid that it wouldn't be enough.

The walk to the beach itself took me about five minutes from where I had to park. It wasn't exactly a long walk, but it did give me even more time to think.

With what I was going to tell I needed all the time I could get to plan it all out. What I was going to say, how I was going to say it, everything about the confession. I didn't even think that Keiko would be able to handle it.

When I reached the sand of the beach I recognized a very certain brown-haired girl. "Keiko?" I was truly surprised to see her. "Is that you?"

She spun around quiet quickly and a smile spread across her face. "Kurama? Oh my God. What are you doing here?" The sound of her voice relaxed me the moment I heard it. Why was I afraid to tell her?

"I was just… I just… I needed some air to clear my head." It was sad how flustered I was. I wasn't even sure if I was going to tell her. But there has always been that something about Keiko that makes you know that you can trust her with anything.

"Uhh, Keiko?" That was all that I could get out at the moment. She turned to me with worried eyes, "Yes Kurama? What is it? What's wrong? Is something bothering you? Did something happen?"

The worry in her voice just made me want to tell her everything. And I mean everything. Even about how I chickened out in going to her house.

"No, Keiko, nothing is wrong, but something has happened. But it's not what you might think."

"Then what is it Kurama. You can tell me anything, you should know that."

"I know that Keiko, it's just that this is hard for me. I just realized it not to long ago myself, but I know that it is how it is and I'm not going to change it. But I am afraid that if I tell that I'll be ostracized."

The look in her eyes was so comforting that al my worry almost melted away. "Oh Kurama!" She ran to me and wrapped me in as a hug as was possible for her tiny body. "Don't you ever think that we would ostracize you!"

I gently wrapped my arms around her and took her comforting words deep into my heart. "Oh Keiko, I wish that it was that simple. But this news just isn't something that can be treated lightly."

Keiko looked up at me and gave a very comforting smile. "Well whatever it is, you that I will keep it as long as you want Kurama. I want you to know that I will always be here for you Kurama and I would never betray your trust. You are my friend."

I couldn't take it any longer I had to tell her. I just hoped that what she had just said would carry on after I told her.

"Keiko, the truth is that I like someone in the group and I'm afraid that people would hate me if they knew who it was."

The look on Keiko's face proved that she didn't understand exactly what I had just said.

"Oh… Kurama, I had no idea you felt that way. But the truth is that I'm in love with Yusuke."

And I was right. She didn't understand.

"Oh no Keiko, it's not you. I'm sorry if I mislead you."

"Then who is it Kurama? Is it Yusuke? Kuwabara? Hiei?"

At the sound of Hiei's name I made a slight move and Keiko must have noticed.

"It's Hiei isn't it? Aww that is so sweet. I think the two of you would make a wonderful couple."

I laughed a bit at her response. To think that I was worried about telling her. I felt so foolish.

"Yes Keiko, it is Hiei. But the problem is, I have no idea how he would feel about this. And I don't want to lose my best friend."

Keiko seemed to have the look of deep thought in her eyes. I was afraid to tear her away from it.

Finally she snapped out of it she had a huge smile on her face. And the smile promised embarrassment on my behave.

"Uhh Keiko, what are you planning?" My voice was much shakier than I thought it would be. It reveled how unsure and worried I was.

"Oh don't worry Kurama. I have a plan and I think you'll love it."

I looked at her warily, "Well can you tell me this brilliant plan?"

She merely smiled and waved my question away. "No. But don't worry. This is going to be fun."


	4. Party Invitation

I sat in a tree in the park. I knew that I could have some peace and quiet there. Well aside from the little humans running around playing tag. I just needed to be away from them. Yusuke, Kuwabara and Kurama. I wasn't quite sure why, but I had been feeling uneasy around them lately.

"Damn," I thought to myself. I never let anyone get to me and they were the reason that I needed to get away. "This is not good. What the hell is wrong with me?" I heard what sounded like Yusuke calling my name.

"Hiei! Where the hell are you? I know you're here somewhere. I can sense you." His voice was irritating. I tried to ignore him thinking that he would go away. That was a mistake, it seemed to make him even more determined to find me.

He had finally reached the tree that I had been perched in and he looked up. "I knew you were here. Look I don't know why, but Keiko wants to see you. I think it has something to do with Yukina. But I'm not sure."

At the mention of Yukina I nearly jumped at him. "Where is she?" I did not play when it came to her. Yusuke merely laughed at my reaction, "She's at Genkai's."

I did not wait. I flitted to Genkai's as fast as I could. I reached the gate and walked the rest of the way in. I found the woman in the kitchen. "What is it? Yusuke told me you had to talk to me about something. And he said that it involved Yukina."

Keiko looked at me with a confused look on her face. I had forgotten that she didn't know that Yukina was my sister. "No Hiei I just wanted to invite you to a party we're having here at the Temple on Saturday. Why would Yusuke say it involved Yukina?"

To change the subject, I decided at that moment that I would go to the party. Just so that I could change the subject. "I'll go to the party." Keiko looked astounded as if she didn't think that I would go.

"What?" I glared at her, "I said that I would go to the party." She looked happy enough so I decided to leave on that note.

"Oh Hiei," I heard her call out. "The party starts at eight. Don't be late." I could hear the smile in her voice.

As I walked to the gate so that I could leave this place I ran into Kurama. "Watch it you Fox!" I snapped at him.

"Nice to see you too Hiei. Did you come to see Yukina?" The fact that he brought up Yukina boiled my blood a little.

"No you damn Fox. I was here to see Keiko." When I mentioned the girl's name, Kurama looked surprised. "Really? That's who I'm here to see. I wonder what she's up to." He had a look of fear on his face. It was barely noticeable, but I knew his face well enough to know.

"Well if it's about the same thing she wanted to see me about, she'll be inviting you to a party this Saturday at the Temple at eight." His face contorted a bit at the mention of a party.

"What is she planning?" I heard him mumble to himself almost inaudible.

"What was that Kurama?" I was curious as to why he was so on edge about this.

"Oh nothing Hiei. Just thinking out loud." He gave a quick smile and headed towards the kitchen.

I was really curious as to why Kurama was acting like this. That was not like him. He was always under control of his emotions. And he never showed fear. Not in a situation like this.

I decided to actually walk. I didn't know why, but I thought that it might help me relax a little. I needed the air.

I hated being like that. Being all clamored and uneasy. Ever since the damn Dark Tournament, I had been feeling different.

I'd been trying to tell myself that it was because of the dramatic change that I went through with the Dragon of the Darkness Flame. But it was lasting too long. The effects from me technically becoming the Dragon of the Darkness Flame should have died down by that point.

I didn't feel like that when I was training with it. My head wasn't raddled, and my stomach never felt like this. It wasn't a feeling I was used to. It wasn't normal for me.

I didn't like the feeling. I didn't like not having control over what is going on with my body. I hated that feeling. The feeling of insecurity. It wasn't like me. I'd always been in control.

But then every time I was near the group I had this feeling. A feeling that sat in my stomach that I didn't understand. Since then I'd stayed away to keep those feelings from surfacing. But I wasn't sure that is was enough anymore.

It had gotten to the point that any time I thought about the group I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was getting ridiculous. It was truly beginning to really piss me off.

I tried to think of when I had began to feel that ache in my stomach. It had started at the Dark tournament, I knew that for sure. But what was the cause? I tried to think, but my stomach was in knots and it had me uncomfortable.

I knew what most people would do, they would find someone to help them figure it all out. But I wasn't the kind of person that talked about their feelings. I kept things to myself. It had worked for my entire life, and I wasn't about to change.

But there was something inside of me that needed to be let out. I just didn't know how to let it out at all.

I could ask someone, but that would make me seem weak. I would never be able to live it down. I felt completely screwed over.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't notice the clouds that had started to gather above me. It wasn't until I felt the rain pouring down that I was snapped out of whatever you call what I was doing.

Even though the rain was coming down heavily, I continued to walk.

After a while I noticed that I could see my breath and I knew it had to be really cold, but I didn't feel the slightest bit cold.

I looked around and noticed that all the humans had gone inside to escape the cold rain. I however found the rain nice. It feel good against my hot skin.

I eventually became aware that I was thinking about Kurama. I couldn't understand why I was thinking about him. But then I realized that as I thought about him, there was that feeling in the pit of my stomach.

It was the damn Fox's fault that my body was so fucked up. It was his fault that my stomach was always in knots when I thought about the group.

"What the hell? Why the hell am I feeling like this when I think about him?" I screamed the words to the sky as if it would answer back. As if it would give me a logical reason to what I was feeling.

I had heard about things like this. It was in some of the human television shows. And I knew that it happened in the demon world too. I just never thought that it would ever happen to me.

I was in love. At least that was what it seemed like.

I was in love with Kurama. I couldn't believe it.

I looked to the sky and shouted, "What have you done to me you damn Fox?"


End file.
